Donna Musial – Constructing a UU Life
written by Bill Jensen
The UU identity of Donna Musial, a valued member of UUFBR and past Board president, is set on a solid foundation made up of strong female role models and a father who upheld her inherent worth and dignity.
Laying a Foundation of Love and Respect
Donna grew up in New Jersey in a family of many women. She has three sisters and her mother had six sisters. No sons anywhere….. maybe that is what made Donna’s father such a special role model for her. She and her father had a special bond that generated fond memories of things they did together: playing the violin, playing catch, recycling newspapers and aluminum, weeding the garden and talking about the meaning of life and the role of religion vs. spirituality. He clearly had great respect for Donna, as he did for all sentient beings; father and daughter would often sit quietly feeding squirrels by hand in the garden. He was a well-read man who encouraged reading and questioned the state of the world in a loving way. Looking back, Donna thinks that her dad was really a UU but never knew it.
Raised in a very Catholic home, Donna attended all-girl Catholic schools through high school. She was very active in the arts, playing Scrooge in the school production of “A Christmas Carol.” She was also the editor of the school’s newspaper and yearbook and wrote poetry for a monthly publication. In this supportive atmosphere, the foundation was laid for her to become a strong and independent person and develop her varied interests.
Graduating from high school in 1974, Donna’s career goals shifted to medicine. That led her to the University of Scranton, a private Jesuit college geared toward pre-med students. Her class was only the second to include women, another trailblazing opportunity.
Framing the Building: Creating a Professional Life
A new career path emerged from her varied college experiences. Donna eventually transferred to Pratt Institute in New York to study architecture, while continuing to explore her journalistic interests through summer programs at Columbia University and writing for local home town newspapers. She graduated with a Bachelor of Architecture in 1980, and began a three-year architectural internship working for Architects in NYC and becoming a licensed architect in 1984.
During college she also began to question her religious beliefs. She explored various religions (her own Catholicism, various Christian faiths, Buddhism, Judaism and Quakerism) and came to realize that the underlying principles of love, gratitude, and respect for all of life matter far more than any dogma. She had a deep affection for the transcendental movement and held UU beliefs before she even knew of UU. In December of 1985, she married her first husband. Though she enjoyed all the trappings of success, including her BMW, power boat, and dinner parties, they didn’t supply the deeper emotional and spiritual meaning she craved, and the marriage ended in divorce.
This difficult and painful time turned out to be a crucible, as Donna confronted the fact that her life was turning out very differently than what she had imagined, and she learned how much stronger she was than she had ever understood. And the lessons learned cemented her UU leanings.
Throughout this period, Donna forged ahead in traditionally male fields, a testament to her upbringing and early education. In 1990 she received a Master’s Degree in Engineering and Construction Management, and is proud of having worked on many noteworthy buildings such as the Hayden Planetarium in New York City, the Mandarin Orient hotel in Buckhead, Georgia, the Corning Glass Museum in Corning NY, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and the Marriott Edition Hotel in Times Square, NYC. Her appreciation for order and beauty translated into a talent for constructing strong and elegant buildings.
Raising the Roof: Designing a Spiritual Life
Despite her father’s death in 1995, his voice and his guidance are always with her. His support gave her confidence to be anything she wanted to be, and his intellect led her to appreciate calm discussion and open curiosity. That same year she also met her current husband, Paul Wiley, her safe harbor and rock of stability. With him, her life has shifted from a hectic, materially focused pace to a calm, more thoughtful lifestyle. She has also found satisfaction in participating extensively in Toastmasters public speaking programs, useful training for both her professional life and as a UUFBR leader.
Finish Work: Building a Spiritual Home at UUFBR
When Donna and Paul took a cruise to Alaska, a couple they met introduced them to Unitarian Universalism. When she returned home, she immediately looked for a fellowship. That August, she came to a service at UUFBR and sat with tears of joy. The feeling of finding a home, knowing others share the same values as she does and try to live them, never left her. She knew she did not have to conform to anything, or to be anything but herself. She could search, learn, share in a place of peace, love and understanding. Donna joined UUFBR in the fall of 2011, quickly becoming a leader. Her service has included chairing the Endowment Committee, running the silent auction, and serving as president of the Board of the Fellowship. In addition, she has shared her professional expertise in many projects involving structural and architectural aspects of our physical facility.
Spiritually speaking, Donna feels that there is something greater than ourselves which may be beyond our ability to describe. This expansive perspective enables her to handle conflict gracefully and seek to resolve issues with reason and compassion, finding common ground where we can all work together to fulfill our hopes and dreams. She believes in the importance of our UU Seven Principles and the dignity and worth of every sentient being, including our great Mother Earth. Her dad would be proud.